I Thought I Lost It
If you could only see how close I am to you and how constantly I work on your behalf, you would never again doubt that I am wonderfully caring for you. Sarah Young
This was not what I thought Christmas would be like this year. We worked hard at school crafting gifts for parents during the first three weeks of December. It was a little stressful but knowing the result on Christmas morning when they opened their child’s hand-made presents was worth it all.
The choir missed several rehearsals due to snow storms which seemed to come every Wednesday without fail. Even the make up rehearsal were snowed out!
Then came the cough and fever! I missed the last day of school due to an upper-respiratory infection and felt so guilty but so very sick.
The cantata marched closer and closer. We got down to the 11th hour, 59th minute and 59th second. But we pulled it off and the choir sounded awesome.
Michaeal who was supposed to have gall bladder surgery 12/23 came down with Influenza A RSV and canceled the surgery.
Christmas Eve, I walked into church early for yet another last-minute choir practice. There was no one else in the church which brought a peaceful, quiet ambiance. Entering the semi-dark sanctuary, I sat down in our usual pew and just started talking with Jesus. I shared my deepest thoughts, disappointments, and concerns. My words went something like this:
ME: What happened? This isn’t what I dreamed Christmas would be like. I’m so tired. Michael is sick. The choir is not ready again. My joy has left me!
JESUS: You did ask Me to slow you down on multiple occasions.
ME: Yes, but this is not how I wanted to do it!
JESUS: Your way did not seem to be working.
ME: OK! But there have been so many bumps in the road this month.
JESUS: Yes, and with each bump you have accepted My ways without throwing a fit. I have carved out this time for you to be still, relax, and quiet your weary soul. You tend to be a little hard-headed so I am using this attention-getting technique. Trust Me, I am still with you. I will show you your joy.
*****
As I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a JOY banner on the wall by the choir loft. I remained speechless until a coughing spell hit me. In those quiet moments, I found the joy I thought I had lost.
Amidst the stress and strain of this season, joy can still be found in some amazing places.
Precious Lord Jesus, please teach me to make wise choices—day by day and moment by moment. Lord, help me to choose to be joyful in You, my Savior, for You are indeed enough. AMEN.