Taking Up Space
Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more. Isaiah 54:4 (NIV)
“Maureen, the jelly bean!’ Oh, how those words taunted me throughout my younger years. I was always chubby, uncoordinated and my self-image was in the hopper. Let’s just say I developed far before I had the emotional coping skills to deal with any of it. Put pink glasses on the little girl in the pic and it could have been me. Brenda L. Yoder (Mornings with Jesus) writes about her own issues and how she learned to embrace herself.
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I dressed and looked in the mirror at my curvier midlife body. I took a deep breath and smiled. I felt a new feeling of being OK with myself.
Since childhood, I wanted everything about me to be smaller—my personality, my size, and the space I occupied. I struggled with an eating disorder as a teen and young adult. I worked hard as a young mom to have a healthier lifestyle by eating better and being physically active. Thankfully, food and body issues weren’t as prevalent in the busy years of raising a family.
But midlife was different. Metabolism decreased. I ate out of boredom or to soothe my emotions. I lacked motivation to exercise. My menopausal body was more padded than ever.
Thoughts and feelings from the past resurfaced. I felt shame in my appearance, my personality, and my presence. I was too old to struggle with this!
When listening to a podcast one day, the host said, “You have permission to take up space.” Wow! It was as if Jesus directly spoke to me, addressing the disproportionate shame and insecurities I had felt since my youth.
I realized I had lacked permission to be myself all these years. As I embraced this mindset of acceptance, I prayed that Jesus would help me be gentle with myself and help me embrace who I am and how I look.
FAITH STEP: Envision yourself sitting beside Jesus as you share your insecurities and shame. Imagine Him saying, “You have permission to take up space.”
Loving Lord, thank You for loving me when I didn’t even like myself. Please show me how to be kinder and gentler with who I am. You created me, so let me know it’s okay to take up space. AMEN.