To Build Up or Tear Down

Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15

I met someone who ended many of their criticisms by saying, “That’s the way it is!” They had great confidence in their own discernment. And if you challenged them, you’d hear, “But it’s true!”

The truth may have been said but it was not spoken in love. Instead, the truth as used to tear something or someone down.

So how do we know if we are speaking the truth in love?

Here are some things to pray about before speaking:

Is it helpful? Will saying this bring about good?

Is it necessary? Must I say this?

Is it loving? Will it build someone up in Christ?

These are the goals we should seek. The apostle Paul urges us to “keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace,” “so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity.” Paul sees words like construction materials that can be used in building—so that we can build a house of peace. May we speak the truth with that goal in mind.

God, forgive us if we think that we have such a firm grasp on truth that we tear into others with it. Truth cannot be separated from love. Help us to discern when and how to speak the truth in love. Amen.